SECRET WEAPON!…………………

cropped-cropped-chris-web-shot.jpgThe Pentagon announced today they’re deploying 6,000 KFC franchises to the front lines in Afghanistan!

In this positive move the main military brass believe they have found the way to crack open the stiff resistant that mere bullets and rocket launchers don’t seem to effect.

Even fanatical beliefs in the worst passages of the Koran will not stop the Taliban fighters from wanting to “double down’ with two pieces of fried chicken two slices of cheese and two pieces of bacon…yes we said bacon!…

The basic strategy being to just put all this over the top cholesterol out there and induce the seemingly tough Muslims to eat like dumb unthinking fools thereby clogging up their arteries and making them have constipation and heart attacks.

A spokesperson from the Pentagon tells us they got the idea from the dumb unthinking fools who’ve made The Double Down such a big seller here in the US by defying the laws of reason and pigging out without thinking of the amount of transfat beginning to flow through their systems.

Also successful in this current KFC American ad campaign has been the huge increase in the sale of PEPCIT and professional industrial strength stomach pumps.

The actors who appeared in the “Double Down” advertising campaign were guaranteed heart transplants as part of their contracts which required them to “double down” for 2 days of continued 3,600 calories per hour.

MEANWHILE THE HOST OF MAN vs FOOD HAS BEEN OFFERED A COMMISSION IN THE BLACKWATER PRIVATE ARMY ..HE WIILL  COVERTLY PROVIDE CHEESE STEAKS AND CHILI HOT DOGS SMOTHERED IN ONIONS TO THE MORE UPTIGHT SHIITES IN BAGHDAD. sorry for shouting but this is important…

Martha Stewart said today that bullets will soon be obsolete as butter and lard will become the military’s weapons of choice.

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