SHOCKING SECRET NEWS ABOUT FOX FROM SECRET FOX INTERNAL NEWS FILES!
It has been reported that Rupert Murdoch has found the secret to eternal life.
Brian Kilemeade has a hidden room full of Elizabeth Hasselbeck blow up dolls dressed as various female icons.
Bill O’Reilly announces Liberals who come on his show will have to sign the “intimidated inarticulate sniveling cowering wimp-ass” allowing criticism of themselves clause in their contracts.
Juan Williams their ‘token weak black fake Liberal’ spokesperson has already been taken advantage of by everyone one there including the Fox cleaning ladies who laugh at him behind his back and draw disgusting caricatures of him on toilet walls.
Sean Hannity, under an assumed name , will sell his collection of Sarah Palin endorsed marital aids on E Bay
Due to some recent slippage in his demographics Brett Hume will be fitted with of the latest “more important man suits. ”
Fox News will not use Megan Kelley so much as a commentator as her voice pitch has set off car alarms across the country and caused German Shepherds to go berserk.
Fox News memo states demands that each show segment end with an unreasonable lying unsubstantiated critique of Obama or Hillary.
The Saudi Prince who co-owns Fox News has asked Anne Coulter to be covered from head to toe in a black sheet when she appears. He is reported to have said: “This is not a religious request I just can’t stand the sight of the skinny bitch”
Rupert Murdoch has asked the male staff of Fox to donate to the ‘Fox sperm bank’ to assist in the creation of the first batch of Fox super white ‘fair and balanced’master race blonde babies.
Shortly to be a new innovation Fox news weather reporters will be called “Storm Troopers.”
Michelle Malkin will be asked to have an eye job to make her look less “threateningly Asian” and more “threateningly white” to cowering minorities and progressives.
SECRET HIDDEN!!! Fox News viewer demographics show that nearly 45% of viewers are drooling home care government subsidized malcontents and the rest think Duck Dynasty will eventually find the Holy Grail.