“SOFTPORN”…………………….

CUE THE MUSIC!!!  and welcome to our dancing-girls…

WELCOME TO ANOTHER OF OUR MOST POPULAR HARD NEWS-SOFT PORN BLOGS.. THIS IS FATIMA SHE’S A REFORMED MUSLIM  AND SHE’S GETTING READY FOR VALENTINE’S DAY WHERE SHE WILL BE LETTING YOU ALL SAMPLE HER BOX OF CHOCOLATES..JUST HOPE YOU GET A SOFT CENTRE..SHE GOT SOME EXTRA HOT INFO ON HOW WE’RE GOING TO COMBAT THE COMING BLANDNESS OF THE COMCAST AND  FOX RIGHT WING TAKE OVER OF OUR AIRWAVES.

FATIMA: Hi there..may the sun shine out of your various orifices and light up the truth on television.. “Hard News -Soft Porn” might be the only new TV channel that will kick Fox and Comcast/NBC in their right -wing balls…we plan to bring you a slate of derivative shows that will give guys woodies and girls reasons to have sex in the city and in the country and even in Pittsburg!

FOR INSTANCE WILL YOU WATCH BILL O’REILLY OR OUR NEW SHOW TITLED?:

“NUDE MUD WRESTLING WITH THE STARS!” Where we pit known perverts like Newt Gingrich against dumb beauty pageant runners-up like Miss South Carolina… all in vivid co-ed action!

or our other hit show:  “SUSPECTED LESBIAN HOUSEWIVES OF THE ‘O’ NETWORK! 

Now here’s Arlene who’s our hottest NEW HOTTIE ..she used to work at Hooters where her tips got so big she fell over.

ARLENE: “Thanks Fatima…If all “reformed” Muslims looked like you they’d be building as many Mosques as there are McDonald’s!  … So let’s talk about some more shows that will take the wind out of Sean Hannity’s anal track..and shrivel his nuts into raisin bran! We plan to combat the Comcast Crap with shows like”:

“CSI-HEFFNERS HOUSE!” This is where each week.. as the semi with the Viagra pulls up… our hidden cameras prove that while the rest of Heff is barely alive… his dick is still that of a RAMPANT Justin Bieber! and to top that how about this show everyone will watch?”:

” TWO AND A HALF CIRCUS FREAKS!” The hilarious reality show that follows the adventures of conjoined triplets Stan, Phil and their extra head Sid.. their “quarter” brother… who looks and sounds like Ricky Gervais!

AND NOW …HERES SYVIE!!   cue the music!!

SYLVIE:” Welcome to my crib…I hang our here finding those tit-bits of that special shocking & revealing nature…Revealing stuff that will help make our “Hard News-Soft Porn” cable network do its thing for your “thing”..we plan to let it all hang out to fight the Comcast and Fox liars and propagandists!

We’ll be right there with the newest and most sadistic takes and put downs because we all know that the BIGGER the businessmen… the SMALLER the “trouser snake !!”

Just try to image the limited measurements of those Koch brothers ..they must need enormous wealth to make up for their “short comings” if you get my gist!!

AND NOW HERE’S AMBER!!

HI ..I’M AMBER AND I’M THE RESIDENT TEMPTRESS… YOU’LL BE ABLE TO CATCH ME ON THE NEW “HARD NEWS -SOFT PORN” CHANNEL…WE MAY HAVE LOST DAN AND PHIL OVER THE YEARS AND NOW KEITH..BUT EVEN THE EVIL CORPO-BASTARDS WON’T BE ABLE TO RESISTS TUNING IN TO OUR MIXTURE OF SEETHING SEX AND EVEN MORE SEETHING NEWS.. THOSE NAUGHTY LITTLE TROUBLE MAKERS WILL FOLLOW US EVERYWHERE … AND WE’LL WHIP SOME LIBERAL IDEAS INTO THEIR QUIVERING BUTTOCKS!

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