“HARD NIPPLES AT OSCARS”

A HUGE PROBLEM WAS REPORTED FOR THE RED CARPET INTROS AT LAST NIGHT’S OSCARS!!

The rainy cold spell taking place in Los Angeles had the Hollywood fashionistas in such a state some of the most trendy designer’s silk underwear was getting tied in knots.!!!

There were reports of major tantrums including the stamping of Italian loafers and even the breaking of some nails.

The fact is that some of the designer’s top fashion statements might’ve be ruined when the stars nipples got hard in the possible rainy cold spell sent panic through the redness of the carpet

One distraught designer was reported as saying…” The thing just won’t hang right if the nipples get hard…”

Another said :” You work months getting the right brocade from Tibet and the taffeta from Belgium and God comes along with His rainy weather makes the nipples hard and screws it all up..I hate Him and his ass face!”

Some of the actresses nominated didn’t seem to mind having hard nipples for the few moments they were being interviewed.

Goldie  said :” I love to show off my hard nipples …it takes the press’ mind off what’s going on with my face!

Liza Minnelli meanwhile blamed the whole nipple thing on Vodka.

Ellen was too busy looking at her watch to make sure she didn’t miss the limo home…and ordering the slow death by torture of the idiot who came up with the pizza idea…

Sandra Bullock was calling her agent to tell him she was right in saying she should have called in sick.

It was hoped that the red carpet would be a big ratings winner this year as the public got a chance hypothetically to choose who has the “best hardest nipples ” amongst the nominees.

THE TMZ ODDS AT THE MOMENT ARE ON THE HARD NIPPLES OF CHARLENE OR PINK …but what of John Travolta?

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