“SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS SURPRISING POLLS”.

SpongeBob-SquarePants-p41In a shocking turn of events heading towards the 2016 presidential race the fickle white GOP voters have tired of The Tea Party they’re screaming:  “Nobody is “radical enough for us!.” Ted Cruz is becoming known as a Canadian sissy. They want a ranting raving gay hating racist Fascist.

Many of the grassroots REPUBLICANS are now thinking that just sayings”Obama isn’t an American he’s either an Arab or the spawn of Satan who likes to eat babies” is just not racial ve to spell extreme for them…They want something more unrealistic who doesn’t have to spell everything right.

TAKING  THE INITIATIVE ANIMATED HERO “SPONGE BOB” HAS THROWN HIS HAT AND HIS  “SQUARE PANTS” INTO THE HIGHLY CHARGED “SCARED SH*TLESS WHITE PEOPLE RING… AND ITS WORKING LIKE A CHARM FOR THE UNDER WATER SUPER STAR.

Tea Party irregulars are welcoming the new and surprising  “SBSP’ candidacy  with open ‘locked and loaded ‘arms!! 

Especially gratifying to this large group of insane bigots is the Sponge Bob agenda for “taking back America.”

 #1. The burning at the stake of the entire Obama family.

#2. The burning at the stake of  the entire Democratic Party.

#3. Nuking Gays while they’re trying to get married.

#4.The deportation of all “swarthy looking” people and their dogs.

#5. The destruction of clean air, schools, old people, medicine and MSNBC.

#6 The installation of Ted Nugent and Louie Gohmert as demigods.

#7. All Mosques turned into 711’s

#8. Fox News to be in 3D and lying to be made a national treasure.

#9. Cliven Bundy installed as Supreme Commander of the entirely Christian United States Military.

#10.Cutting out the tongue of Bill Nye the Science Guy.

#11. Castrating Jon Stewart, Bill Maher, Steven Colbert and Rachel if she was a guy.

 When reached in a deep water cavern under the Huntington Beach pier Sponge Bob had this to say:

“Some Socialists say I live in a bubble..but the GOP are weak little wimps if they think they can really appeal to the rabid Republican base with their middle of the road PAUL RYAN budget crap”..

Have no doubt about this Sponge Bob theory. He’s appealing to the brave bigots who want somebody who can totally understand and absorb their hatred and their fear of anything other that the color white into his soul and squirt it back into the minds of the violent and heartlessly fearful. He is the under water avenger of one party rule.

Sponge Bob continued “I’m the best bet to satisfy the depleted minds of the freaky right wing Christian believers… It’s plain to see the current GOP is not serious about bringing total ruin to America. Like take Ted Cruz , he may sound like he’s a lunatic but is he really off his rocker?… and with a father who was a Communist and Cigar smoking Cuban…THE MAN IS JUST NOT VIOLENT AND CRAZY ENOUGH!!”

The yellow Sponge man went on to say:”Ted may have shiny face and look like that  anti commie ass wipe Joe McCarthy but he only wants to rule America!! ….I WANT THE WORLD!! I’m gonna give the morons what they want and without the aid of fat wimps like Krispy Christie’s Donuts!!!!!!… The age of complete and utterly abject failure of the UNITED STATES is upon us….and Sponge Bob’s your uncle!  Let me take you down to the depths of depravity that you so obviously are craving for!!” Come live with me and the Barracuda’s and the Sharks…They’re like you , they don’t care about the other fish in sea and they like to eat their young and they have extremely cold hearts..this is obviously what the people of the USA want …and me? …Sponge Bob can absorb all the power and keep it just for our side and confidentially I hate kids and don’t care about their education…

Donations can be sent to the Bed Bath and Beyond stores in your city.

SpongeBob-standup

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