“SPONGE BOB SQUARE PANTS FOR PRESIDENT!” UPDATE!

DUE TO THE MASSIVE RESPONSE TO OUR ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE SPONGE BOB CANDIDACY FOR PRESIDENT WE ARE PLEASED TO BRING YOU UPDATES ON THE PROGRESS OF THIS VIABLE 3RD PARTY RISING STAR.

A STATEMENT FROM SPONGE HIMSELF!

” As the GOP field becomes more mediocre and vulnerable every day… and as I now know from my last visit to THE MANSION that Hugh Hefner will now most definitely be my running mate I can define the main  points and the thrust of my philosophy.”   

I will be turning the entire nation into an animated cartoon…! Hugh has already agreed to turn into a caricature of himself..so we’re off to a good start.    

We will be running on the “Nothing could be worse than voting for the sorriest bunch of GOP losers since the last cast of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE!” slogan.

We will start by claiming that Callista Gingrich has been diagnosed with Stepford Syndrome and that she runs on biodegradable corn oil.  

We will continue to pound of the theory that Mitt Romney ‘s family was designed by the Mormon version of God.. and that Mitt will ask the Angel Moroni to be his running mate.

We plan to attack Ron Paul on the subject of him looking like that uncle of yours who had been hit on the head by a fly ball when young and had never truly got his sense of humor back.

We will try to prove that Newt Gingrich is wearing a corset and that Sarah Palin has never been able to spell Tim Pawlenty’s name correctly ..but doesn’t really care..

As for SANTORUM we will make sure that Americans knows about his penile reduction operation after his wife told him he was getting too big for his britches…

We will also try to prove that if Palin runs she wants a clause in the contract that says if she doesn’t like being President because it’s too much like hard work she can get out of it.

I, Sponge Bob Square Pants, believes that nobody in their right mind can honestly vote for the REPUBLICAN PARTY when they can’t find anyone on the planet who can stand up to the ratsh*t of the racist extremist wing of their own party.

THE PEOPLE WHO DRESS UP IN COSTUMES … CAN’T SPELL…AND ARE PAWNS IN THE CONTROL OF OTHER PEOPLE WHO DON’T GIVE A SH*T ABOUT THEM AND WANT TO KILL DEMOCRACY ON THE WAY TO MAKING AMERICAN INTO A GIANT SUPERMARKET OF NON UNION DRONES DOING THEIR CORPORATE BIDDING. 

The only way to defeat these people is with animation. It worked for Disney and me so why not for the rest of you?  

And now I must stop talking to all of you and absorb some more punishment at the hands of the vicious people who draw my yellow ass cells!”

 “VOTE FOR SPONGE BOB….UNLIKE NEWT GINGRICH SPONGE BOB KEEPS IT IN HIS SQUARE PANTS!!”

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