“DIE HARD BY ASPHYXIATION AND DROWNING!”
Its going to deal with the hilariously funny subject of Global Warming.
My agent in NEW YORK called me from the sanitarium where he’s in suffering from sunstroke and severe heat dementia to tell me I shouldn’t waste my time on such unproven theories.
But I’m not taking any notice of him ever since he told he thought nobody would go to see a movie where cars turned into giant robots and stamped out Manhattan.
My Die Hard script will follow a cute young couple who go to Greenland and watch it melt and fall into the sea destroying Scotland and most of Scandinavia. Fortunately for them they’re excellent surfers and donning wet suits they catch a wave back to Manhattan.
Roland Emmerich has shown interest in this plot line since he’s always wanted to do a combo/disaster/comedy production. He wants a Judd Aptow sex farce mixed with the “Quentin sensibility of a blood-fest” mixed with the religious theme of God killing everyone but Russell Crowe’s family and keeping two everything including Dung Beetles and tape worms.
The protagonists in my plotline are the Koch Brothers and the Louie “Grow-hard” REPUBLICAN climate change deniers.
They wind up working as slaves for Tibetan monks in the Himalayas which are now a series of Islands completely surrounded by boiling hot water.