“Attack of the Vampire Banks!”

Yesterday when I presented my credit card to pay for a light lunch a scary darkness descended upon our table when the waiter said “Sir your card was rejected!”

I immediately called my bank and was told: “Sorry for the inconvenience but our system has shut down!”  “What?” I said ..as… at other tables… angry people began to throw left overs at the walls.

The above was not meant to be a fantasy to get a laugh..this actually happened to me yesterday. The young teller, whom I know at the local branch, was apologizing all over the place…saying:”We hope to get back on-line ASAP!”

The world-wide implications of a bank’s entire credit card system going kaput is at the same time frightening and hilarious. 

#1 First dates being ruined when cool guys are suddenly reduced to red-faced losers in front of that special  Hottie!

#2 An American tourist at the desk of the Bristol Hotel in Paris being told by the snot faced French desk clerk “Pardon Monsieur but your credit is merde!”

#3 The college kid who’s in a panic when he goes to buy a keg of beer with the card his parents gave him and thinks …” I finally pissed Dad off so much he’s cut me off!” 

and on and on…Who are these bank people? We bail their asses out with obscene amounts of our money and they can’t even let us go further in debt to them when they’re stupid systems break down!

The American theater of the absurd isn’t just the touring company of the GOP presidential candidates..or “The Comedy Central of propaganda” Fox News ..it continues into the blood sucking Vampire banks!

Our government gives them our money and then they don’t want to loan it back to us even when they can get enormous interest from us from loaning us back our own money..wtf?

It’s the SALVADOR DALI monetary world of today.

It doesn’t make any sense and the people out on the streets being pepper sprayed and vilified by grifters like Newt Gingrich are telling it like it is..or at least how it should be.

Hey you vampire banks…now you’ve got our money…at least don’t f*ck us in the pocket-book as well as where the sun don’t shine even further and try to be a bunch of “efficient thieves” and get some computers that work you jerk offs!

  

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