I bought a Salvador Dali designed watch last week but it keeps slipping of my wrist!

Anne Coulter was derisively laughed out of a Victoria’s Secret store last night.

Mitt Romney’s assets have just sunk to a small Island in the Bahamas and some of Europe.

Mormon’s are good at telling many many old wives tales.

After Ted Nugent’s  latest outburst against Obama Al Qaeda offered him a well paying job as a suicide bomber.  The Secret Service upped the offer.

Allan West will attend “weird black guys with a chip” rehab classes.

Due to a power surge at Dick Cheney’s house Dick got an erection that lasted at least 10 seconds but nobody was able capture it on video before it disappeared .

John McCain says we should stay in Afghanistan until the “end of times” then it won’t matter any more.

Lindsay Lohan finally kicked a bad habit unfortunately the nun was still in it.

In a moment of weakness Sarah Palin wanted to see her name up in lights so she set fire to it .

Newt Gingrich says he’s staying at CNN until the very last $5,000 book signing.

Ann Romney is donating  part of her elitism to charity.

Roger Ailes has  just announced the signing of three more completely lying  raving right wing lying SOB’s with great thighs.

Zimmerman arrest record can now be used as wallpaper.

The NRA stated in Washington last night that they will shoot anyone dead who doesn’t agree with assault weapons in every home later they changed “dead” to “severely wound!”

John Boehner has become so irrelevant that he his wife has to ask him for ID.

Arizona’s Gov. Brewer’s cosmetic surgery failed to hide the fact that under all that sheet metal she’s still a rusty 37 Buick.

s-OBAMA-JAN-BREWER-large300“Listen lady… take that finger out of my face or that sharpshooter on the roof will shoot the spindly little mother thing right off your boney old hand.”


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