The fact that the Rolling Stones can still stand up is pretty monumental…the fact that they’re going to tour is like the raising of the TITANTIC!

Charlie Watts will do the tour in a custom-made Oxygen tent,

The entire band will use synchronized pacemakers.

Keith Richards face will be used as a road map during the tour.

There will be a groupies blood transfusion tent.

Also on the bill will be Sly and what’s left of the Family Stone. plus a Top , a Miracle and Bobby Vinton in a wheel chair.

Crowds are expected to give the Stones a sitting ovation.

The most eventful moment on the tour will be when Ron Wood attempts to get any kind of “satisfaction” what’s so ever.

Mick meanwhile has had problems holding up his lips for long periods of time.

Thank you!





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