These jokes are not for sale…they were ghost written by my dog McKenzie…..
I put all my savings in an offshore account..they’re in a bottle in Santa Monica Bay.
I had breakfast at Tiffany’s and found Ann Romney’s charge account in my oatmeal.
If you’re kinda elderly and taking care of the “more elderly” than you… does that make more elderly than you were before?.
I went to buy an electric car and got sticker shocked.
Kim Kardashian was rushed to hospital suffering from “overexposure”
If Rand Paul is running for President ..lets hope he runs the wrong way.
Homeland Security has just announced that Carnival Cruise Lines is a “weapon of mass gastroenteritis.”
As the apprentice plumber said: “I ought to be in fixtures.”
I broke up with myself last night do you think there’s a chance I could get back together?
Last night I got an empty feeling even thought I was at Whole Foods.
Monsanto has just announced it is growing another bigger tastier Monsanto.
Bill O’Reilly has just burnt down his Anger Management clinic.
Chris Christie if reelected has promised to put a Cheesecake Factory in every home.