First the white smoke…then more smoke and mirrors…

Let’s get ready to celebrate 400 years of condoned molestation.

The Irish are running away from Catholic faith like Sarah Palin runs away from Geography.

Let the bells rings out…let the people rejoice in Saint Peter’s Square…let the altar boys run for cover.

It is said in Eastern religions and amongst many Atheists and Vegetarians that one should never trust any obscure old guys wearing dresses and tall hats.

Whom so ever the cardinals pull out of the tall hat to be named Pope …none of us will know anything about until the moment the name is announced. We can only hope he doesn’t need to “do a Nixon” to avoid going to jail like the Pope “previously known as German.”

We see Dennis Rodman is in Rome and we surmise that he is also in the White House  at the same time for budget talks…as he has discovered the ancient alien art of shape shifting,

We are hoping that Dennis will have words of wisdom for the new Pope.

As some of us “in the know” understand it …during his visit to North Korea he told the little fat dictator guy Lil’ Kim that “if he nuked America it would really fuck up basketball”…So we should feel safe in the knowledge that Lil’ Kim is all bluster no cluster bombs.

Dennis will tell the new Pope to be kind to animals and take the high sodium content in the communion wafers down to acceptable levels.

Dennis will never say anything about the 800 pound Gorilla in the room because he is that!

So as the suspense rises on cable news to a surge of indifference from a general public that sees the Catholic church as an old school variety show without Sonny and Cher …

We bid farewell to you until we know who is gonna drive around in a bullet proof Fiat and live in a palace guarded by Swiss guys with funny pants and spears.

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