LIGHTEN UP………………

McKenzie and I wrote these jokes together today…they’re funnier than Dennis Miller’s entire career…but that’s not saying much….

McKenzieToday Rand Paul and Ted Cruz were rushed to the emergency ward suffering from acute visions of grandeur.

In the investigation into her illegal use of funds Michell Bachmann will plead not guilty by reason of insanity.

The new Pope is so humble he’s shopping for hats and robes at Ross Dress For Less.

The History Channel has had such good ratings for “The Bible” they’ve hired some guys to write a new one.

Lindsay Lohan’ agent says she will hopefully soon star in a new life…

Crazy old bigot Supreme court Judge Scalia has been asked by the Italian community to become Polish.

Victoria Secrets sexy new line of “almost thongs “will be started as a whisper campaign..

Rush Limbaugh’s advertisers are shrinking so fast they’re holding their annual meeting in a Fiat.

The next Apple lap top will be so thin you can’t even see it.

The same-sex marriage controversy took a new twist today when a Mormon Lesbian asked for the hands in marriage of an entire women’s Olympic rowing team.

Fox News has a “no groping white women” clause in Herman Cain’s contract,

Sean Hannity has asked if he can assist in the oiling of the Fox Blondes legs…

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