Last night I woke up screaming… in a dream I’d been outsourced! I was sitting in a small office in Calcutta with a bunch of Indian writers in turbans and I was writing episodes of a “SAVE BY THE BELL” revival series.
I was seeing imaginary red dots before my eyes but then I realized they were real red dots on the foreheads of the script assistants.
The Indian writers were writing story lines about the first American Muslim President visiting the school and the girls not being allowed to wear jeans with their sari.
At the same time we all had banks of phones and were sales clerks taking orders for electronics, furniture, theater tickets, female hygiene items, dog food, baby adoptions and pizza deliveries.
I thought I hated speaking to sales reps from weird foreign countries with weird foreign accents trying to sound American and screwing up my orders until in my dream I was one of them.
Poor bastards…we worked our asses and our turbans off…
However I was living in a one bedroom hovel with six other Indians…luckily in my dream they were six of Bollywood’s sexiest dancing stars …that’s why I’m trying to go back to sleep….