“CANADA DENIED!”……………………..


America’s “immigrant would be Fascist dictator”Ted Cruz has renounced his duel CANADIAN Citizenship!.

He has gone to the INTERNATIONAL border in New York State and return his hockey puck and spit in the Niagara River on the Canadian side.

He has burned his picture of WAYNE GRETZKY and destroyed his DVD’s of William Shatner in Star Trek and John Candy in SCTV.

Ted returned his season tickets to the Blue Jays and has promised never again to listen to Justin Bieber, Robin Thicke, Rush, Gordon Lightfoot, Heart, the Bachman Turner OverDrive, Joni Mitchell, Neil Young or the Toronto Gay Men’s Choir.

Ted also says he will never speak bad peasant Québécois French again and vows that his lips will never again touch French Onion soup or go to Montreal for the Comedy Festival.

His will renounce his taste for Molson’s Canadian beer …and says he thinks the Mounties look weird in those pointy hats.


“Good Riddance” fireworks displays, the “Cruz Burning in Effigy Bonfire” and “Who gives a Shit? ” CBC news special will go off as planned.

Ted will tell the world soon that he’s “truly an American”…and that “just because he was born in Canada it doesn’t make him a foreigner”…

His mom was American and his father was a Cuban which nobody has talked much about due to the fact that he sounds like a psycho off his meds.

But tomorrow TED will renounce Cuba as well just to be safe from anyone who might dare to suggest that he’s not a true patriotic American who loves his country and doesn’t “hate America!”

Ted is locked and loaded with an ego the size of two Chris Christies and a limited following of right-wing extremists which will grow from limited to not enough to get a nomination…

And he’ll have American fries with that…



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